Figuring Out A Way Forwards
Even stable relationships have highs and lows. Even strong bonds can become strained and negative patterns can start to increase. You may have just realised that things aren’t quite like they used to be; or you might already be in the grip of some serious difficulties. When a key relationship starts losing intimacy or trust, wellbeing can suffer tremendously. When the strength of a marriage, co-habitation or civil partnership begins to decline, deep insecurity and despair can set in. The help of a relationship counsellor can make all the difference to help you move towards a new phase in your relationship.
How couples counselling can help
Couples counselling can help you to:
Understand yourself and each other more by appreciating how childhood family values and beliefs play out in the current relationship. You might be operating from different value systems which neither of you may be fully aware of. You might be making assumptions of each other based on your personal past, which clouds the reality in the present.
Understand patterns in your emotions, thoughts and behaviour towards each other. Each person will begin to appreciate and respect the origin of their own and each other’s difficulties in contributing to the problem.
Find a way to listen and be heard by the other. This will help you negotiate better and talk more freely about difficulties.
If you decide to separate, counselling can help you more fully understand and accept the decision, respect the reasons behind it, negotiate the ending and begin to let go. You may need to work through considerations such as children, property, mutual friends and wishes or necessities to remain in contact.
Relationship counselling for individuals can help you to:
Work on relationship difficulties when your partner is unable or unwilling to attend therapy.
Understand more deeply your own difficulties in forming and keeping stable relationships.
Cope with losing your partner through separation, divorce or death.
Individual therapy can help you develop personal insight, understand roots of difficulties, recognise what holds you back and experiment with strategies to move beyond barriers.
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a well-respected and evidence based short-term treatment for trauma.
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy is a treatment of choice recommended by the National Institute for Clinical Excellence (NICE) for recurrent depression.